A Piece of Advice
by Lucrecia LeVrai
Summary: Rubedo seeks some advice concerning Sakura, and Citrine is the only person he can turn to. Mild fluff ahead, but what did you expect from a young boy in love?


Disclaimer: _Xenosaga_ is the property of Monolith Soft and Namco.

Author's Notes: I'm not dead yet, still planning to write a few more fics before I retire. ;) _Xenosaga_ remains an important source of ideas for me, and I'll try to milk the game for all it's worth before my inspiration runs dry.

This particular story was born mostly from my huge fondness for the Rubedo/Sakura pairing, but also from the fact that I really like Citrine. She's one of the most interesting, yet also most overlooked background characters in the whole series. I wish there was more to her in canon than just a few flashbacks and a woefully brief death scene.

I'd like to thank BlueTrillium for putting up with my ongoing U.R.T.V. obsession and for proofreading this story. Her invaluable input means that you won't have to wade through a sea of typos and grammar mistakes while trying to enjoy the fic. :)

* * *

_A Piece of Advice_

by Lucrecia LeVrai

* * *

Rubedo might have been an artificially created child with enhanced intelligence, skilled at various sorts of combat and quite knowledgeable about things such as firearms, physics or human biology, but still, when it came to dealing with the opposite sex, he had even less experience than most boys his age, which was to say, absolutely zero. He had spent his entire life within the walls of an isolated military facility, surrounded by scientists who had never bothered to teach him how to socialize with regular people. It wasn't as if he had ever needed such education before. The only other children he could meet at the Institute were his fellow U.R.T.V. units, most of them males, without a separate consciousness and a regular, sentient mind to begin with. Rubedo hadn't even been fully aware of fact that there were also girls among them, until a couple of weeks ago his younger sister had finally decided to seek him out and say hello.

Sakura Mizrahi was pretty much the first real girl Rubedo had ever known. An outsider, coming from a world he was totally unfamiliar with. She had actual parents, both of whom seemed to care about her a lot, in spite of her serious illness: _her_ father would surely never try to dispose of her, just because she had a few imperfect genes. She had used to live in a real house before she had come to the Institute, with her own toys, flowery wallpapers, a swing on the porch and all. She always got to wear nice clothes, not a military uniform like every other child Rubedo knew. She didn't have to cut her hair short, and her brown locks were sometimes adorned with hairpins and other trinkets. She would talk to him about her home, about amazing skyscrapers, scary hospitals and beautiful beaches, about the places she had seen on her journey, including the huge spaceship that had brought her to Vartas, about butterflies, sunsets and snow, about popular U.M.N. programs and celebrities—about hundreds of things Rubedo had never seen before. He hadn't even realized that some of them existed, not before he had met Sakura.

Needless to say, she was _special_.

Rubedo couldn't just treat her like one of his siblings, because that simply wouldn't be right. She belonged to a different reality. Sure, she wasn't exactly a normal child, either. Her inability to communicate with the outside world had always kept her isolated from her peers and adults alike. Nevertheless, she had grown up surrounded by normal people. Given a choice, she would certainly want to associate herself with _them_, not with a bunch of freaks whose only purpose in life was to fight wars and eradicate U-DO…

As comfortable as he felt in the girl's presence whenever he talked to her inside the Encephalon, Rubedo was sometimes plagued by doubt. He feared his company wasn't enough for Sakura. He wished he could always see a smile on her pretty face, and somewhere along the way he had discovered that he wanted to impress her really badly. He wanted Sakura to like _him_ as much as he liked _her_. This desire was also an entirely new thing for him. Up until now, he had been taking most feelings for granted; after all, it would have never crossed his mind to question the affection existing between him and his brothers. It was just there, as natural as breathing. He certainly didn't need _words_ to confirm the love binding him to his twin, not when the connection they shared ran so deep into their hearts.

It was much more complicated with Sakura, though. Rubedo couldn't read her mind so easily—well, technically, he _could_, but that would involve breaking into her thoughts by force and hurting her in the worst way possible, which was of course something he would never do—so he had to rely on words and gestures instead. Unfortunately, he had soon discovered that a_ girl's_ words and gestures could be horribly unclear and confusing, especially without a mental exchange lingering in the background. When Sakura was silent for a longer period of time, for example, did it mean that she was feeling comfortable in his presence, or that she was just bored out her mind? Did she listen to his chatter because she found his words interesting, or was she just being polite? Did she even have a good time in his company…?

Rubedo had no idea, and that was why he needed some advice. The sort of advice no one could really give him. Asking one of his caretakers was totally out of the question; the scientists would surely tell him to stop worrying about 'nonsense' and stick to his duties instead, or worse still, laugh at his childishness. Father and Dr. Juli Mizrahi, the only two adults who just _might_ treat him seriously under _some_ circumstances, obviously didn't count—he cringed at the mere thought of talking to any of them about Sakura.

He couldn't turn to his brothers, either. Nigredo was still eleven, what would _he_ know about girls and Rubedo's problems? And Albedo, his other heart, the person who had always understood him the most… did not seem to understand him anymore. The white-haired boy had recently started to act all weird every time Sakura's name was mentioned. He would either get mad, or walk away to sulk in silence. Honestly, Rubedo wished he knew what was wrong with his little brother. Albedo didn't even seem to be in the slightest degree interested in Sakura, which ruled out jealousy, so what the hell was his problem?

In the end, Rubedo decided that he would deal with his irrational twin later. Possibly _much_ later, since he had different worries at the moment. Crossing out both the adults and his younger brothers from his mental checklist left only one person he could ask for help. Citrine.

Rubedo didn't really fancy the prospect of seeking Citrine's advice. Truth be told, he would rather avoid speaking to her at all. She might have been his younger sister—even his subordinate, in a way—but she certainly didn't behave like one. Instead, she constantly tried to stress her superiority, which of course irritated the boy to no end. _He_ was the U.R.T.V. leader, after all, older than her by a whole seven months, and so she had no right to look down her nose at him, Father's favorite or not. Rubedo wished she would stop throwing him these weird stares that almost implied _she_ knew something important that he _didn't_. It made him feel angry and a bit unnerved.

Nevertheless, regardless of her attitude, Citrine was a _girl_, the only other girl Rubedo knew at the Institute. He guessed he could live with exchanging a few words with her, especially if it was for Sakura's sake. And so, by the time had finally reached his sister's room in the girls' section of the main building, he had already made up his mind.

Predictably enough, Citrine's door wasn't locked. As soon as the boy pressed his fingertips against the control panel to the left, it slid aside with a quiet swish, giving him free access to the room. He stepped inside without bothering to wait for an invitation, knowing that he was unlikely to receive one. He found the younger girl sitting on her bed, fumbling with a laser rifle in her lap. Citrine looked up at the sound of his footsteps—and immediately, there was a frown on her face. She seemed more than just mildly annoyed with his unexpected intrusion.

"What are _you_ doing here, Rubedo?" she demanded in her crisp, adult-like voice, without putting the weapon away. It wasn't the nicest greeting the redhead had ever heard, but he decided he didn't really mind, as long as she didn't try to throw him out.

"Oh, c'mon," he said defensively, walking further into the room even as he tried to explain himself. "Your door wasn't locked, and besides, it's not like this area's off-limits to us, or anything." By 'us', he had of course meant all male units, both the standards and his two brothers, though one glance at Citrine's face made him suspect she wished it had been any of them standing here now, instead of Rubedo himself.

"It might've been unlocked, but it was also _closed_," she scowled slightly, watching him come closer. "It's true you boys are allowed in here, but that doesn't mean you can just invade my privacy."

Rubedo dismissed the girl's complaints with an indifferent shrug. He couldn't really care less about her minor discomfort, not when his own privacy at the Institute was almost nonexistent. All thanks to his younger twin, who would sleep in his bed half of the time, make a mess of his things, bring in lots of unnecessary stuff, and generally act like he didn't have his own damn room only a few steps down the hall. It had always been that way, ever since Rubedo could remember. He had stopped trying to fight against it a long time ago, learned to tolerate it instead, even though occasionally it still pissed him off. He kept in mind the last time he had locked his door for the night, when they had been both about eight years old. Albedo had ended up in hysterics; he had first wailed at the top of his lungs just outside Rubedo's room, and then refused to talk to his twin for the whole next day. As a result, the older boy had given up completely. He didn't even dare to lock his door anymore.

Rubedo stifled an exasperated sigh, shaking himself free of his distracting thoughts. Citrine rolled her eyes; she seemed to be growing more impatient with each passing moment. It was only a matter of time before she would snap at him.

"I, uh, just wanted to, umm, ask you something," he managed at last, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck, feeling almost too embarrassed to speak. This unusual, somewhat timid behavior had caught Citrine's attention by now. She blinked at the boy, a hint of puzzlement in her blue eyes.

"What is it, Rubedo?" She frowned, and then her annoyance was back. "I don't have all day, you know. My squad's shooting practice starts in twenty-three minutes."

_Shooting practice… riiight._ It suddenly occurred to the boy that perhaps his sister was not the best person to discuss, or give advice on girly stuff. Normal girls weren't raised to be soldiers from the day they turned five; that much he could tell even with his limited knowledge of the outside world. They probably didn't consider war games their only entertainment, let alone play them so ruthlessly, to the point of drawing blood. Yeah, come to think of it, Citrine's personality seemed nothing like Sakura's. The blonde variant could hardly be seen playing tag or climbing trees (something which Sakura undoubtedly enjoyed); she preferred to hang around the scientists instead, pretending she was an adult and whatnot. Sakura, on the other hand, had once said she found most grown-ups boring.

Rubedo was suddenly aware of the many differences between the two girls, but he knew it was already too late to withdraw, unless he wanted to feel like a coward for the rest of the day. Citrine kept frowning at him expectantly. He took and deep breath and mumbled, "I… I was wondering if you could tell me something about, uh, girls, what they like and… stuff." His voice trailed off the moment he realized how ridiculous he must have sounded.

An awkward silence fell between the two siblings. Rubedo kept cursing his own desperate decision to seek his sister's advice, whereas Citrine stared at him blankly, no doubt trying to digest his weird request. Fortunately, she didn't have a genetically improved brain for nothing. She caught up rather quickly, though it didn't make all of her confusion go away.

"Say again? What girls like… oh! I see. It's about Sakura."

Rubedo's first impulse was to deny vehemently, say something along the lines of 'What, no, I was just curious!', but he bit his tongue and forced himself to nod. "Of course it's about Sakura," he growled in defeat, too humiliated to meet his sister's gaze.

"I still don't get your question, though."

"What's there not to understand?" Now that the first step had already been made, the boy found it easier to continue.

"Why would you ask me such stupid things?"

Rubedo winced. The words stung, but the sheer incredulity he could hear in the girl's voice caused him to look up at last. Citrine hadn't started to mock him yet, which was always a good sign. "Uh… you really need me to explain?" Heck, he would rather die than openly discuss his reasons for liking Sakura so much—right in front of his sister, no less! "She's… sort of nice, you know, so I thought–"

"No, no," Citrine interrupted him quickly. "Save your breath. I know you're interested in that girl, though _why_ you would trail behind her all the time is totally beyond me. What I really don't get is what do _I_ have to do with anything?"

Now it was Rubedo's turn to look mildly puzzled. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No."

"You're the only other girl in the Institute," he explained matter-of-factly, running a hand through his unruly hair. "One-two-seven, One-eight-eight and the rest don't count, anyway. I figured you could help me, uh, well… understand girls a bit better, or something like that."

Citrine frowned. "Yes, I'm a girl, but so what? I'm not Sakura."

"I _realize_ that, but…"

"I've only met her a couple of times in the Institute," Citrine went on calmly, ignoring her brother's attempt at interruption, "and you know what she's like in the real world. A doll with no personality at all, even worse than the standards–"

"That's not true!" Rubedo contradicted passionately, without letting the girl finish. "She can't talk or react to all the stimuli, but I can tell she's always trying to listen, and she's got a way of expressing her moods. If only you spent more time with her, you'd notice how she tilts her head, or squints her eyes, or–"

"Then you see," interrupted Citrine, "you've just admitted you know her far better than I do. I've only been to her subconscious twice, and we didn't talk much, apart from going through the regular exercise. Our wavelength doesn't seem to match that well. I've got no idea about her likes and dislikes. You might as well ask Dr. Mizrahi." She paused and smirked, finally remembering her usual arrogance. "Of course only if you _dare_ to."

"Like I'm ever gonna do _that_." Rubedo's shoulders fell slightly. He bit his lip and began to tap the toe of his boot against the floor, angry and disappointed at the same time. "You won't help me, then?"

"I can't see why you would need my help at all," Citrine merely shrugged in reply and looked down, returning her attention to the rifle in her lap. "It's true you have a tendency to act like a regular idiot, so you may be unable to handle an intelligent discussion with a girl, but I think the two of you are going to be just fine."

Rubedo felt his cheeks flush with indignation. "What did you just say?!" If it had been Albedo or Nigredo who called him an idiot, they would be already laying on the ground with his fists in their face—but Citrine was, just as he had been stressing for the past few minutes, a _girl_. He knew he couldn't hit her outside the training room, no matter how badly he wanted to do it right now, in order to avenge his bruised dignity.

Citrine appeared unperturbed by her brother's reaction. "You heard me. Here, stop gaping at me and consider this for a moment: Sakura used to be isolated for all her life, didn't she? If you boys are the only people she can consciously talk to, especially after such a long time, then I doubt she has any high expectations of you, or will soon find you boring. She seemed to like my visits very much, and she probably likes yours even better. I bet she'd be blissfully happy even if you kept rolling in the grass, spouting utter nonsense."

It took Rubedo a long moment to fully absorb Citrine's words, but then their simplicity, and the certainty behind her statement finally hit him. He stared at his younger sister with a mixture of awe and disbelief. It had never occurred to him to view his relationship with Sakura from this perspective. So their friendship worked two ways, didn't it? He was drawn to her because she was a fantastic, much welcome guest in his secluded world, but he was just as special to her as she was to him. It _had_ to be true. Sakura had told him once—when they had been alone—that she couldn't even describe the gratitude she felt for him, just for having him seated next to her. She had been smiling through tears (which had made him feel very alarmed back then, almost on the verge of panicking). Her large eyes had been fixed on his face. But then she had laughed, reminded him to breathe, apologized for 'freaking him out', and never brought up that subject again.

The lock on Citrine's weapon clicked loudly, again and again, as the girl kept fumbling with the rifle. Rubedo struggled to break free from his warm memories, but they wouldn't let him go so easily. He wished it was already the day after tomorrow, time for another scheduled dive. He couldn't wait to see Sakura again, even if he was unintentionally going to make a fool of himself, like Citrine insisted he would.

"I… I guess you're right," he nodded at last, flooded with an unbelievably strong wave of relief. "She probably appreciates things the way they are. I just… want to make sure she has a great time in our company."

"You mean in _your_ company," Citrine pointed out flatly, and Rubedo found himself looking at the floor again.

"Well… yeah."

Another long silence fell between the two siblings. Rubedo was yet again left to chew on his own embarrassment, while Citrine kept struggling with the laser. The boy, as distracted as he was by his own thoughts, finally noticed the frustration written on his sister's face.

"What's wrong with that gun?" he asked, taking a few steps forward and leaning over the girl. He didn't dare to sit on the edge of Citrine's bed, though. If he did that, she would have most probably _beaten_ him with the rifle.

"It's fine," Citrine insisted through clenched teeth. She sounded angry, but her cheeks were slowly turning an interesting shade of pink. Knowing her, Rubedo thought, she probably hated the very idea of admitting that she was unable to repair the malfunctioning weapon, thus less skilled at something than he was. How much time did she have before the shooting practice started? He slid his gaze over the rifle.

"The lock is jammed, and I think you should check the sight, too. Here, let me help you."

"I'll be _fine_, thanks." Her eyes flashed dangerously. "Mind your own business."

"Are you–"

"Yes, I'm _sure_!"

"Okay, okay!" the U.R.T.V. leader backed off, raising his hands in a defensive gesture. Jammed lock and a broken aiming device aside, he didn't like the red dot that had suddenly started to dance next to his feet. "As you wish. Shouldn't you be going by now?"

"I could ask you the same question," she all but snapped at him. "Aren't we already finished with our discussion?"

"Yeah, sorry," he said awkwardly, raising a hand to scratch the back of his head. "I'm off to the labs. Good luck with today's practice." The girl didn't even lift her head, so without further ado he nodded and turned away.

"Wait," Citrine's slightly hesitant voice stopped him before he could leave the room. "About Sakura…"

"Yeah?" Already in the doorway, Rubedo twisted his neck to face the younger girl.

"She likes to play the piano with her mother, doesn't she? I saw the two of them in the lounge quite a few times."

"Yeah." Rubedo couldn't suppress a silly smile. "She does."

Citrine raised her head at last; the siblings' blue eyes met. "She obviously enjoys music, then, because Dr. Mizrahi herself doesn't strike me as a music-loving type," the girl explained with a shrug. "Why don't take it up as _your_ hobby?"

Rubedo blinked, and then snorted quietly, "You know I can't play the piano, and I doubt Dr. Mizrahi would find the time to teach me."

"Then find yourself a different instrument, something easier to handle. Although, I have a feeling that no matter what sort of primitive thing you might choose, you will be absolutely horrible with it," she added as an afterthought, smirking. "I've heard you sing once—my ears are bleeding to this day."

Rubedo let the outrageous comment slide, his mind still busily considering the alternatives. "Just where am I gonna find a musical instrument in the Institute, huh?"

The girl gave him yet another shrug. "That's your problem, not mine."

"Easy for you to say."

Citrine sighed. "Father must really _like_ you," she went on with a sour grimace, sounding as if the very idea pained her terribly, "if he even allowed you to keep a real cat stuffed with germs and bacteria. He'll turn a blind eye to your newfound interest in music, if only you ask him _nicely_ and promise not to neglect your duties."

Rubedo hesitated, once again recognizing the logic in his sister's words. Gaignun actually belonged to his finder, Nigredo, and Citrine (awfully envious of the cat, though of course she would never admit it) realized the fact well enough, but it was true that the youngest boy would have never been allowed to keep the animal if it hadn't been for Rubedo's intercession. Dr. Yuriev rarely showed him any parental affection, other than some occasional pat on the head if he did exceptionally well during training, but the oldest variant knew that Father was likely to tolerate most of his whims as long as they didn't collide with his duties. It was probably because the man couldn't care less about what his children did in their free time—but whatever the reason, Rubedo was willing to exploit the consequences. He _would_ get his instrument, no matter how much research and sucking up it might take.

"Hey, are you _done_, already?" Citrine's irritated voice pulled him abruptly from his optimistic musings. "If I'm late to class because of _you_, you'll be sorry you _ever_ set foot into my room in the first place, and I mean it!"

Something in the girl's tone made the threat sound genuinely dangerous. Rubedo knew better than to push his luck. He quickly brushed his pleasant daydream aside, smiling at the angry girl in front of him. The smile went unreturned, not that it surprised him.

"Right, I'm sorry," he said. "You're really brilliant, you know?"

Citrine rolled her eyes. "Not a difficult thing to accomplish in your presence. Now cut your babbling and get out, before I _seriously_ lose my patience."

Rubedo was outside her room in a flash, standing in the middle of a long and empty corridor. Before the automatic door could close behind him, he threw one last glance at his younger sister.

_Citrine? To repair the lock, you just need to switch to manual, push the blockade all the way to the left and twist it clockwise. As for the sight, the steering chip is–_

"Get lost!" she bellowed out loud, forcefully yanking her end of the link out of his grasp. It stung as if she had dug her fingernails into his brain. Rubedo hissed in discomfort, but grinned nonetheless.

"Thanks!" he called out, mostly to the white piece of metal sliding in front of face. A second later he heard the lock on door being activated. "Really. Thanks."

* * *

Author's Notes: And that's how Rubedo's passion for harmonica was born. ;) Just as Citrine predicted, he turned out to be a horrible musician… but that's perhaps an idea for a different story. :)

I hope you liked the implied Rubedo/Sakura thing – it's one of the most adorable pairings I've ever seen, really. Some of you were probably able to spot hints of Albedo/Rubedo as well… if you squinted your eyes and chose to view their relationship _that_ way (I know _I_ do :P).

As for Citrine, I hope I kept her fairly IC, at least considering the timeframe of this fic. I doubt she'd always act hostile towards Rubedo; she's not _evil_, you know, just a little bit arrogant and armed with some knowledge her older brother doesn't posses. She can't afford being _too sympathetic_, of course—given her 'special mission' and all that—but she'd probably have no problem talking to him and helping him out, as long as it didn't collide with her main duty.

Feel free to argue, and please review if you liked the story. :)


End file.
